Wash the dishes after every meal and set them in the cabinet; wash your hair on Saturdays and braid it tightly; don’t walk outside without your brother or father; don’t leave the house at night; you are just a girl; mix the spices thoroughly into the fish and then fry the marinated salmon in oil; fold the clothes neatly as soon as they are dry on the rack line; when taking care of your hair, be sure that you don’t comb it while it’s wet, because that way you’ll lose more of those luscious locks; wear your gold earrings and kolusu; is it true that you listen to the girl's rumors?; I would never do that Amma; don’t chew with your mouth open and certainly don’t eat in an appalling manner; on weekdays try to look nice with a sari and red pottu; go natural and don’t wear your hair down; you mustn’t speak to those dark, creepy boys; in fact, try to avoid boys at all costs; you wouldn’t want to be like the girl down the street sobbing over her newborn; is it true you listen to explicit music?; I only listen to bhajans Amma; this is how to make a bread; always gather the wood to begin the fire; don’t cook banana fritters; you know your brothers don’t like it; sit properly with your legs together; you’re not trying to invite boys; this is how you water the plants; this is how you clean the bathrooms; when your father and his friends are drinking kallu, don’t sit near them; this is how you sing songs to make babies fall asleep; this is how to sew clothes for your family; this is how you clean the home; if a smart, good boy flirts with you, ignore him; condemn him for liking a girl above his caste; this is how to love a man; this is how a man loves you; this is how a man bullies you; But I don’t want to be bullied Amma; do not be disobedient; marry this one.
44 years later. Wash the dishes if you are not tired; wash your hair on Saturdays and braid it tightly to keep it healthy; walk outside but bring your pepper spray; try not to leave the house at night; it can be dangerous; mix the spices thoroughly into the fish and then fry the marinated salmon in oil; once the dryer has finished running, fold the clothes neatly; when taking care of yourself, be sure that you clean your luscious locks; wear your gold earrings and kolusu if you want to; don’t listen to the girl's rumors; she’s distracting you from your goals; get the best grades you can to have a successful future; eat with good manners; wear any clothing you would like, but don’t forget to bring your jacket because it is cold; experiment with makeup and see if you like it; go natural if you don’t, and wear your hair however you would like; avoid those dark, creepy boys; you can tell their intentions by their eyes; make friends with smart, kind boys; listen to any type of music you like; it is natural to express your sexuality(men do it too); don’t shame the poor girl down the street who is sobbing over her newborn; help her out; I know Amma, she deserves to be treated better; this is how to make tasty cakes for yourself and maybe your future children; always put the exhaust fan before you cook; you wouldn’t want a fire; cook banana fritters; it doesn’t matter if your brothers don’t like it; they can cook for themselves; sit in whatever way that makes you comfortable and confident; boys should know their place; this is how you water the plants; this is how you clean the bathrooms; remember these life skills; I will never forget Amma; don’t let your father and his friends drink kallu; treat them to some coffee instead; this is how you sing songs to make babies fall asleep; this is how you sew your own clothes; if you like boys and a smart, good boy flirts with you, go ahead and strike up a conversation; don’t condemn him for his feelings or his caste; teach your partner the skills he or she doesn’t know and let him or her teach you what you don’t know; protect each other when you go out; be yourself and marry the person you love; do not let anyone bully you; do what it takes to make yourself happy Raja. Author's Note: I was inspired to write this piece after reading "Girl" by Jamaica Kincaid. In "Girl", Kincaid writes as if a mother is trying to teach her daughter how to fit into a society that oppresses women. However, in my writing, I wanted to address how South Indian women are slowly overcoming their oppression and gaining rights in their societies. Around forty four years ago, South Indian women had little to no rights, but with the activism of our bold grandmothers and mothers, we have gained more rights and better lives now. Unfortunately, my writing does not apply to all South Indian women nor all women yet, but, one day it will and I hope that on that day we will all be equals. Comments are closed.
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